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A Stronger Person
By Deb Thompson
 I came to a point while analyzing my life and my self worth and realized I was not happy. On the outside it appeared I had what people work for their whole life for; a husband that loved me, a rewarding job, and a family that would go to the ends of the world for me. Sadly, I was still not happy. I was 38 years old and 210 pounds. It may sound shallow, but I was not happy with the way I looked. I could make others around me feel great, but when it came to people telling me how great I was, I did not believe them. All I could think was how could I be as great as everyone says when I looked the way that I did and felt the way I felt. I was tired of being tired. For years, I had put others’ best interests ahead of mine, but I came to the point where I knew I had to start making me a priority. I knew it was not going to be easy or quick, but I had to try. I started my journey to get skinny and look good; but, along the way, got healthy and developed into a stronger person.
I started my quest to get skinny by going to a Zumba class with a friend from work. I will never forget walking into the class thinking “What am I doing? There is no way that I will be able to keep up with all of these people.” Honestly, I wanted to turn around and walk out. Instead, I walked to the back of the room and took my place. I had no idea what I was getting myself into until Courtney started yelling “Deeper!” during squats and then stood in front ahead of the class with a grin and said “Welcome to Zumba!” I thought to myself, “Why am I letting this young, fit person do this to me? I am sure she has never had a weight problem and has no idea what she is putting me through.” After my first class, I felt energized…sore, but energized. I also felt like I could keep going. I was still uncomfortable with my appearance and exercising with strangers, but made it a goal to try my best.
I started going to Tamarac slowly; it was not easy. I had a goal and wanted to succeed, but it was hard seeing fit people working out. All I could think is “There is no way I will ever fit in!” If was like I was back in high school and was not good enough. Walking through the doors, I was mortified when I had to ask for help. In the back of my mind all I could think about was “What is this person going to say about me when I walk away?” I was sure there would be fat jokes said. Even though I was scared, I knew I had to keep going. I knew that if I stopped now, I would not get back into it, and who knows if I would ever be happy with myself.
I started going to Tamarac three times a week, which was not easy. I knew I had to make sacrifices to lose weight, but questioned if it was going to be worth it. I was taking time away from my family and was not seeing the results I wanted. I wanted the get fit instantly, rock hard body they show on TV. After a few weeks, I knew this was not going to be an easy task, so I kept working at it with Zumba. I started to really enjoy class when I could actually complete the class without feeling like I was going to die. I thought I could handle more, so I tried Courtney’s kickboxing class. What was I thinking?! I was still out of shape yet trying to do kickboxing. Needless to say, it was not a pretty sight. I was in so much pain and so scared that I left the class early. The workout was so intense that I went to the locker room and threw up. This moment was both a set back for me and the motivation I needed to go on. I was finally thinking I may be able to do this; and to fail like I did was terrible. I could just imagine what the others in the class where thinking. It was hard for me to return the next day, but I did. This is when the motivation from this terrible situation hit me. Courtney approached me and asked why I had left the class early. When I responded that the workout was so intense that I threw up, she grinned and said, “Good!” At that point, I knew no matter how painful, there was no way I was going to let Courtney get the best of me. This is when my journey started.
About a year after my first visit to Tamarac, I was down to 175 pounds. I felt great, I was finally getting healthy, I had energy that I had not felt in years, and loved the support I was getting from friends and family. Then I hit a road block. No matter what I did, I could not lose anymore weight. I was getting very discouraged. Everyone was telling me not to worry because I was “gaining muscle and muscle weighs more then fat” or they were saying “you look great, be happy.” I was happy that I had lost some weight, but at the same time I was disappointed with myself. No matter how much weight I had lost, when I looked in the mirror I still saw a fat person and was not happy with myself. This is when Todd Gilliland came joined my journey. Todd may not realize it, but he is one of the many people that helped me get to where I am today.
Todd asked me to join the New You program. I knew Todd through my husband and had heard about his weight loss. He lost 100 pounds through the New You program and was a true inspiration. Todd helped motivate me again to lose weight. He was there to give me the extra push I needed. With Todd’s persistence and my new-found determination, I was going to get back on track and lose the rest of the weight so I could attain my weight loss goal. Little did I know that this was going to be the biggest turning point in my story! Todd opened up so many opportunities that I never would have thought to try; and through these opportunities, many life-long friendships evolved.
I started running. There was a point in my life when I never thought I would enjoy running. Running seemed pointless and boring, and honestly, too hard. I felt that running was going to be impossible for me, but with a push from Todd, I tried, and I got hooked. Who knew you could get addicted to running? It was hard at first and there where times I wanted to quit but I kept going. Through my pain, I gained both pride in myself for what I was doing and made great friends along the way. People may doubt that you can make lifelong friends while running, but it is true! Without the support of my running friends, I would have never been able to accomplish everything I have. Each one helped me in some small way, whether it was Bob telling me you can do anything for 8 minutes, Tracy pushing me to go that last mile, or even Todd asking me to join him for a run. I knew that I had their support and they where going to be there if I needed them.
My first running goal was to finish the Fifth Third River Bank 5K. I trained with Todd, Bob, Tracy, Ben and Amanda. They were the support I needed. When I first started training there were times that I wanted to give up, but I knew that inspiration was a phone call away. No matter how I felt I knew I could call any one of them and they would help me get back on track. After weeks of training, it was time for the race. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I ran this race with Todd by my side the entire time. We could have run our own races, but knowing we had each other was comforting. We finished the race together which was a proud moment for me. After my first race, I ran a few more 5Ks and even beat Courtney in one of them!
Running a 5K was just the beginning, and with the support of family and friends, I wanted to keep going. The next big race was the Chicago Rock and Roll Half Marathon. I trained with Bob, Tracy, Amanda and Todd for this race. At first, it seemed like there was no way I could do it, but I ran it and finished with Todd by my side again. I felt a great sense of accomplishment. There was no way I would have even thought of running 13.1 miles a year ago. After finishing the half marathon, Bob Springstead talked me into running a full marathon. I had no idea that training for a full marathon was going to be so much harder than what I had just finished and wasn’t sure if I would really be able to do it.
I started training for the Grand Rapids Marathon right away. With my support group of Bob, Todd, Amanda, Tracy and Shane, I was on my way. Training for the full marathon was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was both physically and emotionally draining for me. The physical aspect was that running over 40 miles each week made my knee hurt. I tried to ignore the pain, but it hurt so bad I had no choice but to go the doctor. I was reluctant to see the doctor because I was so focused on running the marathon that I didn’t want anything to prohibit me from reaching my goal. I stopped running with hopes that all I needed was some rest, but it still hurt. When the doctor told me there was a chance that I would not be able to run the marathon, I was devastated. I had missed out on so much with friends and family and I had trained so hard. I didn’t know how to take the news that it may have all been for nothing. Even though I was given a bad diagnosis regarding my knee, I was determined to run the marathon. With the help of my doctor and physical therapy, I started training again. There is no doubt that the “old me” would have quit, but the “new me” was determined to finish the marathon. I was experiencing a physical transformation, but I was changing emotionally and mentally too.
The day of the marathon finally arrived; I was both pumped and scared. I trained hard, but had to miss many training runs because of my knee. I was worried I may not be able to finish the marathon. Even though I was nervous, I had to give it my all and complete the race. I had come too far physically and mentally and missed too much time with my family and friends to let fear or self-doubt stop me. I started out great and got into a good rhythm. I passed the 13 mile mark feeling remarkably strong and remembered that just two months before, I was happy to finish the Chicago Rock and Roll Half Marathon. I was doing great until the 21st mile. I swear I hit a brick wall and still had 5.2 miles to go! But that was nothing compared to the pain in my legs when I hit the 23rd mile. I tried to tell myself that I only had a 5K to go, but it was not working. I really didn’t think I could finish! I felt tears coming down my face and heard Bob saying, “It’s all blood and guts from here on out!” That last 3.2 miles seemed longer than the whole race. I will never forget turning the last corner and seeing the finish line. I looked at Bob and really broke down! Boy did the emotions take over! I don’t think there was a dry eye around. I will never forget Bob saying, “I can’t run and cry at the same time.” It is difficult to describe what I was feeling at that time. To see my friends and family waiting for me and to have accomplished something so big was overwhelming! This was the hardest and biggest thing I had ever done in my life!
The past two years have been a turning point for me to say the least. When I started this journey I was like many other women that I know. I had low self esteem and had no idea where my life was heading. I started out wanting to be skinny and thinking that being skinny would make me happy. I thought I was unhappy because I was overweight, but along the way I realized that I was overweight because I was not happy. I was a good mother and wife but now I have so much more to give. Facing my challenges changed me. I know that I am a strong person, that taking care of myself is not a selfish thing to do, and that when I made myself better, I was better for all those around me that love me and count on me.
Today, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am healthy and happy, and I have my wonderful family and many new friends. I can’t imagine life without them! The struggles that I had to go through on my journey not only inspired me to stay on track, but have inspired others around me. This is one of the biggest rewards I could ever ask for. My accomplishments have helped inspire a few of my coworkers to begin their journeys’ at Tamarac, in addition to, encouraging my friends from the New You to be physically active. My life has been blessed in many ways since I started this journey and I look forward to the future knowing that I am an inspiration to those around me.
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